Premenstrual dysmorphic disorder

I guess I had heard of this diagnosis, in passing, but never really gave it much thought.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PMDDis

In the last year, though, my PMS symptoms have grown increasingly worse, to the point of disrupting my ability to work and function during day to day life. In the days leading up to my period, I turn into a person that I do not recognize and someone that I do not like at all. I believe that I am suffering from depression because of the changes in my life anyway, and I think that has contributed to the severity of my symptoms.

About two weeks before my period starts, it seems that I gradually begin the descent into a dark tunnel. A veil seems to settle in place around me, blocking more and more of myself out as the days go by. I begin to lose my ability to concentrate and stay focused. I become more and more irritable, and little things that shouldn't bother me start to grate on my nerves like huge issues. And, the big issues that I'm facing in my life right now seem like insurmountable hurdles and I feel worthless and hopeless. I can't find joy in any of the things I normally do. I'm angry, and I pick fights with the people I love most in the world. And then, I just feel so overwhelmed that eventually I can't go more than 10 or 15 minutes without bursting into tears. I have laid in my bed all night crying, and even on the nights when I'm not crying, I find it almost impossible to sleep. The thoughts fly through my head at an astounding speed, and I feel dizzy just trying to keep up with my own mind. For 3 days this last week, I cried almost non stop at work. I had to leave the sales floor many time to sit in the bathroom and sob, and there were many times where I was helping customers with tears in my eyes.

This last month has been the absolute worst. In my mind, I understand that the reactions I am having to things are irrational, but I have absolutely no power to control my emotions. I am scared of myself. I was starting to think that my depression was reaching the point that I would have to get some help for it. But, then, the bleeding started, and suddenly it was as though a light switch had been flipped and I was able to see clearly again for the first time in 2 weeks.

I realize that there are medications that are widely used for depression and for PMDD, and in many cases may be extremely helpful. But, while I do not look down at anyone who chooses to go that route, for me, that is the extreme, last option. I've decided that I will chart the next couple of months and rate my symptoms to see when they start and when they are at their worst. I have done research and I will adjust my diet and try to be aware of things so I can practice relaxation techniques.

I don't know where I will be in 2 months time, but where ever it is, I can't imagine how it could be any worse than the last week has been for me.